Tag Archives: parenting

My Life Changed Forever

What was the one experience that completely changed your life? What happened? How did it change your life?

My brother was always my Mom’s favorite child, I was treated as a red headed step child, yet he was the child who could do no wrong. No matter what I did, I could never earn her respect and acceptance.

 

I tried and I tried still, I figured she loved me, but yet, I never felt the love. No matter what I did, didn’t do, said, didn’t say, I was always wrong. If I got an A, I should of gotten an A plus. You know where this is going.

My childhood growing up was very happy as long as my Dad was around, but after Dad took sick and we moved out of state to “be safe from Dad” since the stroke left Dad with impairments.

 

MOm became more abusive after we had left town. Her weapon of choice for discipline towards me was the wooden cooking spoons. The reasons for her to hit on me became more and more frequent, sometimes it wasn’t even anything that I did or didn’t do, it was just her taking out her frustration at a current situation.

Also, something that was beyond my control, and certainly not my fault, Mom was abused as a child. Psychically, emotional, and sexually, he Mother left a lot to be desired at best. Since the relationship wasn’t exactly healthy w/ her own Mom, I felt my whole life that she took that out on me. Heck, even several point of my life, I asked the aunts and uncles on my Dad’s side if I was adopted. They all told me no, each of them saying they saw Mom pregnant with me, besides, I look just like my Dad.

The last time I accepted physical abuse from my Mom, I was 21 years old. I was still living at home and an unwed mother, but the child’s absent father and I were trying to work out our trials and tribulations.

My ex boyfriend and I had gone ride to his job interview, it’s about a 2 hour drive. I told Mom that we would be back about 2pm.

Well we were about an hour or so late at getting home, but we were home before dark. The ex boyfriend dropped me off and left. I went into my bedroom to put down my purse and coat. Mom came in there with her weapon of course, the wooden cooking spoon. She asked why we were late. The fact that we were lost, didn’t matter none.

She smacked me with that spoon across the face so hard that I was knocked off of my feet. I just missed hitting my pregnant belly on the bedside table by inches.

At that moment I decided that the abuse from her upon me was going to stop and she was never going to treat my child as such, EVER! That moment empowered me,  to personally never be abused again, but also gave me the nerve to tell her that she would never strike a child of mine. Due to the strained relationship between she and I she has been out of my life more than in it for most of my adult life, but that was her choice, not mine. And to this day, she has never struck one of my children, neither have I. I know what I felt like when she would hit me, I would never want to put that feeling onto another person, much less a child I birthed.

 

 

 

Thursday: Another Day In Paradise

Hello World! Have you ever had one of those days that just kept on giving; giving you nothing but trouble? I have had many of those days here lately, Thursday was no exception. I had an early morning dr appt so I had to be up and ready to leave the house early. The fact that I had to be awake early, much less ready to leave the house early, is usually enough to put my into a bad mood. With that being said, Thursday my mood was unusually pleasant. Got to the hospital early and was able to pick up on my favorite breakfast sandwich, hot ham, egg, and cheese on toast, add a little lettuce and mayonnaise and life for me is good. I was even called into the room to see the dr about an hour earlier than my appt, woohoo I was on a roll.

The appt was for the GYN dr, yes I am old, yes I have outgrown the OB part of the practice. No more need for OB dr here anymore, thankfully. If I had to have more kids after these four kids I have no idea of what I would do. I mean my children are not harden criminals or anything of that sort, just were very trying to raise, now that three of the four are raised, the old wives tale proves to be true, “the older the kids get, the more problems they become.” My children also helped me to learn early on, that “patience is a virtual”, as I am sure most parents already know.

I have gotten off the beaten path here, that happens when I get to talking about my children. GYN dr says that I will most likely need a hysterectomy soon, I have a ultrasound scheduled in the next 10 days or so, then my decision needs to made on my decision of whether I will have the surgery or not.

Even though, I am not a very good patient, I had drs, hospitals, and everything that goes along with the two, I was still very positive and upbeat about the day.

I managed to get out the hospital and get home to start the never ending pile of laundry and that huge list of ever pending housework that continuously calls my name. Yep, the housework and laundry only knows my name. Lucky me huh? I was minding my business, moving right along, when my youngest daughter’s, Lauren,  neurologist called from New Orleans to review the EKG results with me. I already knew the results, but she wanted to fill me in. Found out that we will have to drive into New Orleans, at least once a week to see the psychologist and a psychiatrist, weekly. Now if we were around the block from the Children’s Hospital in New Orleans that might be a tad different, but we are about 70 miles southwest, so for us it’s at least a 2 hour round trip weekly, plus the amount of time we spend in with the dr and time spent waiting between appointments.

The neurologist also said that even after all is said and done with the psychologist and psychiatrist weekly visits, Lauren still may not be able to return to school. PTSD is back, oh wait it never left! Ok that was it for me. Lauren loves going to school, she loves being with her friends and her favorite teachers. She’s not A honor roll, basically just the opposite in all special ed classes, but she’s the innocent victim here while her attacker can attend school freely, do exactly what he wants freely, attend ball games, school dances, and here Lauren sits, staring at me for her source of entertainment, as well as parent and educator. I don’t break down often, as I am usually a very strong woman who can usually figure things out rather quickly, but the news that she can’t attend public schools, probably never again, was the straw that broke the proverbial camels back for me.

After all of that, Lauren and I came home to find a letter in the mailbox, I am being taken to truancy court over the days missed with all these dr visits/days waiting for homebound teacher to be assigned. I will explain the need for homebound in another post, since I am long winded today!
Later,
Reba

Link

Awesome website

As a homeschooling Mom, I come across  many websites per day, some are awesome, some are not so awesome. Some are free, some are not free. Prek-8.com is totally free and offers a math worksheet generator for elementary teachers and parents. Also offered are holiday worksheets. My favorites are the Math worksheets where the multiplication sheets are done into picture groupings. By that I mean, if the problem to be worked out is 3×3, the picture is 3 groups of 3 items. My daughter, Lauren seems to understand this concept the best.

Enjoy, I will share more awesome websites later,
Later,
Reba

Have You Ever Had A Lot to Say, But Nothing to Blog About?

I am the type of person who always has a lot to say, never really at a loss for words, kinda like a Cajun defect…LOL! Us Cajuns always have something to say, the reasons other cultures think we talk to much, but for us Cajuns, many of our ancestors were poor, the only thing that they had to share was of their time. By sharing of their time, meant sharing of one’s self. Many times, that was just exchanging stories and gossip by siting on the front porch, sharing recipes, or the quickest way to engineer something broken. Thus the habit of always talking was born.

Today was such a hard day for me personally, even though I had to wake up at 6 AM to start my day, which I had much rather stayed in bed, the day did start off well. My first appointment of the day, I was even taken in early for my appointment. So at this point the day was great, was moving and grooving.

The day, went all uphill from there. Not only did it go uphill from there, it continued to go uphill. Life just would not give me a break at all today, no matter how hard I tried. Things have changed drastically for my family and I.  Tomorrow or Saturday I will explain more of what the news was today, the good, the bad, and the ugly, well truthfully, there was no good news.

Sorry to keep the post so short, but this has been a long day, mentally, physically, and emotionally draining, so I hope to be asleep soon.  I have read over several of my favorite blogs post tonight, while waiting on my mind to settle down, so sleepiness can show up and sleep can happen.

Later,
Reba

 

It’s Another Manic Monday!

Hello World and good morning from my end of the swamps. For us stay at home Moms, our days are never the same from one day to the next, although you would think it would be. Life here isn’t even the same from one minute to the next, much less day to day. I wish it was, so my days would be planned out, no surprises, no exceptions, but then that would be boring. Life as it is, the house is a disaster, but the kids are all happy (for the most part), cleaned (for the most part) and fed, til one starts asking for snacks.

 Today, the little boy I babysit while his Mom attends school, Kaden, is potty training. I haven’t had to potty train a boy in 18 years, luckily for my mind, body, and carpets, his parents have him well potty trained, it’s just me having to remember to remind him to go.

The good potty training that Kaden is doing, he’s making up for in his actions. He has managed to pull one cat’s tail about 10 times, then kicked the other cat. He throws the bell balls and expects the cats to chase the balls, when they don’t he gets upset. I fussed, he cried, then apologized. So he’s back to being good, thankfully.

My daughter, Lauren, that is homeschooled, is so far off task, I could scream. Usually, if I am busy with household chores or Kaden, she will go find some homework to at least start on. Not today. She’s lying around like this house is cleaned and she has no chores….UGH! I was suppose to get her homeschooling work together last night for the week, but I fell asleep instead, I know bad Mommie moment.

I also have my youngest grandbaby, Kristie Lynn, who is usually a big handful, the good point of today, she’s off playing Barbie dolls. Of course the bedroom is a disaster, but hey, the quietness from at least one kid for a few minutes is priceless in my world.

OK, quietness has ended, two kids are screaming, third kid is staring at me,
later,
Reba

Our Homeschooling Day Outside of the House, Without the Books

I am a firm believer that everyone should learn something new everyday. Even the smallest tidbit of new information, no matter how meaningless. Here I will share my yesterday’s meaningless tidbit of useless information. Rabbits and guinea pigs can be spayed or neutered. Yep, rats can be altered as well for rat control (we already know my opinion of rats).

Whether my youngest daughter is in public schools or not, I always try to make every experience a learning experience. She’s learning delayed, so she learns different things different ways. I have several ways to teach her all the school subjects, I am still willing to try new things.

Today for lunch we went eat at our local Chinese buffet/hibachi restaurant. My youngest daughter, Lauren is famous, for not trying any new foods or foods cooked any ways except the way she is accustomed to.  She was fixing her plate of food with her favorite selections and I happened to remember the restaurant has hibachi. I quickly showed Lauren how she can select her foods, sauces, then the process to prepare the foods in front of her. She was pretty amazed as the chef was fixing another customer’s food. She was willing to try this herself. This is huge.

She choose the shrimp and spaghetti noodles. Yes, kind of plain, but it’s a start. She stood there, watched the food be prepared, in total awe. We proceeded to the table with her two plates, plus mine.  Upon tasting the shrimp, she was “impressed”. She tasted the spaghetti and decided it was not what she thought it was going to be. I was kinda disappointed, but very happy that she had tried something new. I praised her for that as did our favorite waitress, Juby.

We left the Chinese restaurant. My oldest daughter Becky is a student at an online college. One of her weekly assignments was to search the fresh fruits and vegetable section at our local grocery store and make notes of where 25 different fruits and vegetables are grown and imported from. This will be Lauren’s second homeschooling lesson for the day. Becky, Lauren, and my youngest grandbaby Kristie Lynn were off to the store to do the assignment. Becky let Lauren find her own 25 items, discussed what each item was, and why or why not the fruit or vegetable can or can not be grown down here in southeast Louisiana. Some of the vegetables, neither of them had a clue as to the answers, so they came home and did research via the internet. They were done that in under an hour.

Lauren is due to start the homeschooling bowling league starting Tuesday.  The bowling league will cost me 36.00 for four sessions. The sessions are every other Tuesday. Plus I will have to pay 17.00 for the bowling league t-shirt. So the total is going to be 53.00, that’s a lot for a stay at home Mom to afford, but to help boost  her moral and self-esteem.

So tonight, I took her bowling. This is the third homeschooling lesson of the day, we will call this physical education, unfortunately it didn’t go well as I had hoped. She has been talking about going bowling all week long.

 “Santa’ bought her a Hello Kitty bowling ball, the bowling shoes, and the bowling bag. I wanted her to get use out of these items, since “Santa” paid a pretty penny for the whole set up. The last time she bowled, probably around October, she was able to bowl about 80-100 per game. She’s was better than I ever was.

I must say, since the last time she has bowled, Lauren has had several seizures as well as us finding her non responsive in the tub one night, as well as we couldn’t wake her up the next morning. I am going to assume that even though these “seizures” are not epileptic, they are PTSD related, they still caused some sort of memory loss, as she didn’t even know how to throw the ball. She struggled to get the score up to 43 in the second game, first game was less than that. She was in the gutter more than in the lane. She became so discouraged, we came home after she had only bowled two games. I felt sorry for her, with every gutter ball, her spirits just failed a little more.

She has confided in me that she’s not sure anymore that she even wants to do the league bowling. She was so excited when she found out that she was going to be bowling with the league, I can’t let her quit now. So Monday, I am taking her back to the bowling alley, getting one of the lanes at the very end and we are going to start from the beginning with the lessons. My oldest daughter Lauren used to bowl for a league too, so she’s going to come out and help me see if I can teach her.

Hoping this all works out for the best, as Lauren’s spirits, moral, and self-esteem can’t take another hard hit. She is still suffering from not being able to attend school due to her seizures. I will keep everyone posted on how this all works out.